LIFE: The Moment You Realize You Care Too Much

The Moment You Realize You Care Too Much
LIFE: The Moment You Realize You Care Too Much

I’ve always been passionate about something. There have been several occasions in life when I have wished that I wasn’t, because it’d be easier. I recently had one of those moments. The moment you realize you care too much.

When I was doing my undergrad, I took some courses with a social justice vein, and they got me involved in local issues in my city – women’s prisons, homeless and housing problems. I would go to conferences and do fundraising events for various charitable organizations in the name of raising awareness. What I couldn’t understand was this:

Why didn’t other people care?

Why did I want so much to make a difference, but others were apathetic?

I still don’t know what the answer is to those questions, but my frustration with apathy around these issues meant that I slowly participated in those things less and less.

Fast forward 10-15 years.

Here I am in the same place.

I first started Juicy Green Mom to share the information I was finding about green, toxin-free, eco-friendly living. Because as I talked to my friends about what I was learning, they all said, “Someone else could really benefit from the energy and time you’ve put into learning this stuff!”

If you’ve read my “About” page, you know that I started on this journey because of my sister’s bout with breast cancer, and my realization that I didn’t want cancer in my daughter’s future. I’m not the crunchiest, greenest mom out there, but I do my best. And there are some things I will not compromise.

Because I desperately want to give my daughter a fighting chance at a cancer-free life.

In the same vein, I would do everything I can to prevent my sister from ever having recurrence.

And that’s when I realized it.

I care too much again.

It’s ironic, in a way. My sister lives on a faraway continent from me, so we don’t see each other much. On our last visit, I was somewhat surprised that the semi-dark-green standards I set for my family were not the same as what she sets for her family. Living toxin-free and organic isn’t as important to her as it is to me. Which is fine. Everyone needs to do things their own way. It’s just hard to wrap my head around. Since she was half the reason I started this in the first place.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t care.

Being passionate about green living is sometimes very difficult. I have to admit that sometimes I feel too embarrassed to say no when other moms ask if it’s okay for them to give my daughter high-fructose-corn-syrup, artificially coloured treats (I’m cringing in my head and there’s a big skull and crossbones symbol flashing). Sometimes I don’t want to be that mom that doesn’t let her kid have anything unwholesome. And sometimes I don’t know how to say no without launching into a tirade of how toxic those things are.

Sometimes it just seems so daunting.

I see so many things come up on Twitter and Facebook about what a terrible situation our planet is in – which makes me determined to continue to try to make a tiny little green dent in it. But then I realize I live in Alberta. Oil country. Where tarsands development will never cease to be a topic of debate.

Why can’t I stop caring?

Well.

This.

beautiful baby girl juicy green mom

This tiny creature has become my precious little girl. Her innocence and love for the world makes my life whole.

I have to do everything I can to give her a chance at a healthy future.

Because if I can’t do that, what is the point?

 

Have you ever had that moment you realize you care too much?

The Moment You Realize You Care Too Much landscape

 

Related Posts

hunters special squawk ron tang illustration

Hunter’s 3rd Birthday: Get Hunter’s Special Squawk eBook FREE

March 21, 2020 will be Hunter's 3rd birthday. I imagine that he would be happily
what i've learned from greta juicygreenmom

What I’ve Learned from Greta

It’s 3am and you are fast asleep in your bed. You are abruptly woken by
where the light shines through switchfoot juicygreenmom

LIFE: The Cracks in My Being

I expected that leading up to the second anniversary of my nephew Hunter's death, I

5 thoughts on “LIFE: The Moment You Realize You Care Too Much”

  1. I know what you mean. The sister who inspired me to be a vegetarian 20 years ago isn’t one anymore, and I am. But she does try to buy humanely raised meat, so I respect that…it’s good that humanely raised, organic meat is now more available than it used to be, because people cared. Although lots still don’t.

    And in general, quite a few of the environmental things that we used to have to go out on a limb to do, like refusing bags in supermarkets and recycling, could now be considered mainstream. It takes someone who cares to start the trend and build momentum.

    1. Thanks for your comment and for helping me feel that I’m not alone!
      And you’re absolutely right. Things that were unheard of 20 years ago are now becoming mainstream, so we just have to keep the momentum going forward. I don’t think I can stop trying even if I wanted to!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *