RANT: Why I Hate Glitter

why I hate giltter juicygreenmom
RANT: Why I Hate Glitter

As the mother of an almost 5-year-old girl, I encounter glitter on a daily basis. It’s really amazing how it can be added to virtually any product marketed to girls, and slowly but surely infiltrate your home until you find glitter on your underwear even after you’ve washed it several times.

But WHY?? WHY????

Okay, I get that glitter is sparkly and attractive. But why does it have to be on EVERYTHING??

Case examples.

Craft supplies.

Glitter in containers. Okay, that’s fine. You know what you’re getting into if you buy glitter in containers because you know as soon as you pop that lid you’re going to get covered in it. But does glitter have to permeate all other craft supplies as well? Like every kind of sticker? And ribbon? And foam? And paper? (Why does PAPER have to be glittery? What’s wrong with regular old paper? How are you supposed to draw on paper with glitter on it?) I have been tricked a few times into buying a big bag of stickers and not seeing the glittery ones hidden amidst the regular boring un-glittery stickers. Sigh.

Toy case handles.

Like almost every other girl between the ages of 2-12, my daughter loves Disney Frozen. I was so excited to see little carrying cases of the mini Animator collection dolls of Anna and Elsa! Adorable sets! But then – they took these perfectly good carrying cases with perfectly sturdy handles and… dipped them in glitter!!! So you pick it up from the handle and an infinite amount of glitter comes off on your hands, which you then try to wipe off and just end up spreading the mess like a horrible communicable disease. I spent an evening meticulously covering these handles with packing tape in an effort to contain the glitter. I’m NOT kidding.

Toys in general.

My daughter is into My Little Pony, and she loves those tiny mini ponies you get in little blind bags. Well. Little did I know that some of them are – you got it – encrusted with glitter!! And of course they come in a BLIND BAG which means you CAN’T SEE WHAT’S INSIDE UNTIL YOU OPEN IT, and by then it’s too late. The glitter has hit.


Basically this is a mechanism to ensure that glitter really takes over your house, your car, and get into every nook and cranny possible. And get into your kid’s hair, and their bathwater, which probably gets into their girly parts or bumhole. So then… THEY POOP GLITTER?? Is that the purpose??

Dress-up Accessories.

See comments for T-shirts. Except this is even worse. Tiaras covered in glitter. Yeah, okay, I guess that could be warranted because they are supposed to be extra sparkly or whatever because that makes one appear more princessy. I recently got my daughter some My Little Pony Rainbow Dash wings, though, and I believe there was UNWARRANTED glitter all over them. Why do pegasus wings need glitter?? Fairy wings, I may let that go. But pegasus wings? They are not sparkly in the TV show! They are not sparkly on the figurines! So why do they need glitter on the dress up wings??? To torture me, clearly, that’s the only reason.

Did you see the posts about the company that would send an envelope full of glitter to an enemy of yours? It’s so true that it would really piss them off. But you don’t even need to do that. You just need to buy a ridiculously glitter-infested girly thing from a toy store and you’re set!

Seriously, though, although glitter is considered non-toxic, it can still be dangerous (which is why unwarranted glitter really pisses me off). It’s made by layering sheets of copolymer plastic, coloring, and a reflective material. These are fused together and then cut into tiny pieces. The problem is that these tiny pieces are so tiny that they are easily inhaled or ingested and can irritate eyes, skin, and airways. There aren’t really stringent regulations on what can go into glitter-making, either, so there are potentially toxic chemicals lurking in glitter the same way they lurk in our personal care products.

Then there’s the environment factor – because glitter is tiny but also heavy, it can cause damage to ecosystems by accumulating on waterway floors, and poisoning marine life (the same way microbeads can). I don’t think that’s worth the extra sparkle.

So basically, glitter is just bad news. The problem is that it’s on everything. I have tried to boycott it, I really have, but it’s virtually impossible.

And that, my friends, is why I HATE GLITTER.

Do you have a “why I hate glitter” story to share?


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